"I'm Chevy Chase and you're not." - SNL Anchor
"I think the Clintons are brilliant. I've never met a person as intelligent as Bill, and I think Hillary is right up there with him. They're too smart for Washington." - Chevy Chase
"Everywhere is within walking distance if you have the time." - Steven Wright
"A hospital bed is a parked taxi with the meter running."
"Alimony is like buying hay for a dead horse."
"I was married by a judge. I should have asked for a jury."
"Politics is the art of looking for trouble, finding it everywhere, diagnosing it incorrectly and applying the wrong remedies."
"Those are my principles, and if you don't like them... well, I have others." - Groucho
"If Saddam rejects peace and we have to use force, our purpose is clear. We want to seriously diminish the threat posed by Iraq's weapons of mass destruction program." - Bill Clinton